Tag Archives: woman

A Country Wife . . . A Poem

country-woman

 

A country wife

Gravel under her feet

Rain clouds above her head

Wind whipping the willow at her side

 

She walked

She had done it again

 

Most called it cheating

She called it surviving

 

Red nails at her fingertips

Smeared make-up at her eyes

Despite watching the time

It had been an hour of instinct

 

She left him behind

Like every other time

And walked toward home in haste

 

He filled her in more ways than one

Something marriage could not

 

Raindrops – between her lashes

Pasted curly locks in place

Her lips formed an evil grin

She imagined his square handsome face

 

Back into the kitchen

Back to cooking peas

He would get his supper

She would go to bed pleased

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I Do Not Need A Man To Make Me Happy!

woman courage

 

Divorce has been tough these last several years. A new relationship after that has become stale and sad, as well.

I have always been fearful of being alone/lonely. I hated it when I first divorced, and dusk was the worst!

Well, I’m a little older and realizing that I’d rather have social engagements with friends and girl friends than having to live with a man who isn’t as committed to my happiness as I am to his.

So . . . it’s the beginning of a new era for me. The time of courage, branching out, change, and happiness.

Wish me luck. It’s an uphill climb.

Love you, my readers, my friends

 

Intruder!

My house was quiet except for my unpacking boxes from the move. I was in my closet when I heard a woman’s voice at the opposite end of the house. Had someone gotten inside? I was home alone.

Then I wondered if the TV had come on by itself! I thought ghost.  The voice quieted. I stayed in my closet, listening for someone. My heart beat faster, and I heard myself breathe.
Then, the woman spoke again. In a very monotone voice. She said,”Turn right, then stay left.” It was my freaking gps talking. It comes on automatically sometimes, but doesn’t usually talk to me. Whew.

I’m Not Sorry

I lived for 44 years, doing what was expected of me. I was a “good little girl,” then I was a “good wife and good mother and good church-goer.”

I am now almost 3 years into being separated then divorced, and I’m starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. Try that on for size! A 47 year old woman is just finding out what she likes, dislikes, and what coping skills she needs and should get rid of. Thank god for my gifted counselor and for highly competent doctors. My hormones are (generally) balanced. My seratonin levels are much improved, so the crippling depression has abated. I can again form a full sentence and finish a thought. I’m doing well!

However, upon my rebirth, there are individuals who judge me and who, I’m sure, are disppointed in me. I have this to say to them, “Lay off! Keep your somber looks and self-righteous, Christian attitudes and lifestyles to yourself.” Is that too aggressive? Then, I’d say, “Each person is responsible for her own happiness in life. Mine happens to be attained in a different way than yours. Let’s not judge one another.”   (That better?)

Actually, it’s been a long road to get to my current improved self-esteem. I started with veeeery low self-worth. So, I’m excited about making such progress. I won’t back down from what I want. I will smile at someone who thinks I’m irrational, immature, or unsavory – then I do what I want anyway.

Life is too damn short to take orders from a spouse, church, parent, friend, society. I have to now be my own woman, achieve my own successes, face my own failures. At the end of the day, I face only me, and I want “me” to be happy.

It’s difficult to know that my family and old friends don’t like (or necessarily approve of) my life these days. However, those who truly love me have stayed around me and still want me to be healthy and happy. They’d just rather I do things “their” way.

Sorry, but, I’m not sorry.