Tag Archives: new year

Rules For Happiness . . .

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I have had an unparalleled 2015. There have been so many changes that I sometimes feel I’ve been in a dream state.

Changes I’ve experienced this past year are below. After those, are my experiences on how I gained some “real” happiness in life.

2015, January began with my being unemployed for the second month. I’d been a mortician for a year but, because of stress-related depression, had to quit the job I’d trained for extensively.

February brought the realization that I HAD to get out of a mentally abusive romantic relationship. I had to finally completely break off with this man and ended up having to get an Order of Protection from him -issued by the county court so the ex-boyfriend couldn’t get within 100 yards of me. After 4 slashed tires and numerous times I saw him stalking me, multiple texts over a short period of time, and parking in front of my house to intimidate me, I had to protect myself. We were officially over but my mind still held paranoia, fear, and anxiety over his possible presence. Changing the locks on the house just didn’t erase those feelings.                                                                                                                                  March began an unexpected chain of events that would forever change my life. A week before I celebrated my 51st birthday, I met David. It was intended as nothing but an innocuous dinner date to get me out of the house one Sunday evening. That meeting turned into a movie afterward and another date the next day. I had just broken up with a scary stalker. I was NOT looking for another serious relationship.

Over the next few months – April, May – David and I were always together. We couldn’t bear to be apart. Our personalities, goals, and morals were identical. He was eight years older than I and full of humor, sincerity, generosity, and affection. I had hit the jackpot this time. Never had I known this type of relationship. We had much in common and were quite attracted to each other. We shared respect and a thankfulness to finally find someone who would be honest, faithful, and loving (among other traits). We had discussions of possible marriage in our future – which was unbelievable since we had each told the other on our first date that we’d never wish to re-marry.  Never say never. God will show you otherwise.

June was a month of seriously tossing around the idea of marriage. We had spent every day and evening together since our second date. The mutual love and dedication we felt was alien to us. We quickly developed a strong and deep bond. We were in a tornado of new feelings, changes, and complete joy. Every day, I woke to see that rugged face of the unique man who had captured my every sense.

July gave us promises and me an engagement ring. Life was among fluffy clouds, sun shining on our faces, and constant smiles.

August was a month of planning, decision-making on honeymoon options, and finding a dress for the wedding day.

September was the month of joining lives – physically and legally. I married David after knowing him a mere six months. I would never suggest such a step to a friend after knowing someone less than a year but this was an entirely different situation. All of our friends and family saw the rare bond David and I shared. We were finally happy. Really happy. October = our first Halloween together. November = our first Thanksgiving together. December = our first Christmas together

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Now, it is January of a new year. David and I have been inseparable for over nine months and are still just as in love, just as entertained by each other, and just as sure we made the only decision that made sense . . . to join our lives and share adventures that lie ahead – together.  We’ve not once considered being with any other partner. We’ve found our “other half.”

To be happy . . .  ~ Free your heart from hatred, guilt, or resentment. ~Free your mind from worries and unnecessary stress. ~Live Simply. ~ Give more. ~ Expect less

I had to let go of deep guilt I carried over breaking up my previous (and only) marriage. I finally let my long-carried stress go. I think time passing and not encountering the ex-stalker, plus feeling secure and loved by David, allowed me to finally wake up one morning, have coffee, eggs, and go right back to bed. I was exhausted physically and mentally. This lasted almost a week. I couldn’t stay vertical for long before I needed to nap or just lie down. It was my relaxation after 7 years of built up stresses over money, relationships, unsure future, fighting Major Depressive Disorder with med after med that didn’t work, and gaining sixty pounds from stress eating. The following months brought me to enjoy simplifying my life. I donated much to local charities, and I sent the larger items to auction. I love not being surrounded by nick knacks that collect dust and grab my attention.                                                                                                                             I had often volunteered to deliver meals to hungry senior citizens and to teach adults how to read and write English. David, being retired, dedicated his time volunteering to helping veterans through his local American Legion. When you give, you don’t have time to think about “self.” That is a good feeling.                                                                                                                      Finally, when I learned to expect less from surroundings, pets, and people, I began feeling satisfied with this imperfect life. If we all do the best we can with what we have to offer, that is enough.

May your 2016 be full of happiness . . .

 

 

 

 

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2014 Goals?

2014

A very good friend asked me what my goals are for 2014. I told her I didn’t really know. I was feeling a bit melancholy.

I just thought about what I did in 2013. I finished college, passed both sections of the National Board Exam, and got a job in my field of study. I am currently working toward getting the 50 required funerals to get licensed in the state of Arkansas as a funeral director. If I can get 50 embalming cases as well, I become licensed as an embalmer, too. I only lack one exam – the Arkansas state law exam. So, I am working toward the goals I set. I’ve already accomplished a huge chunk of it.

I have to remind myself of the good things I’ve done in 2013 and that more hustle is needed to completely finish what I’ve started. So, that is one of a few of my goals for 2014 . . . to NOT give up, even though I struggle a lot to learn this new job and to physically and mentally keep up.

I hope you had a good 2013 and that your next year will be safe and happy.

Smiley Flower Happy!

 

Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions

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Do you make New Year’s resolutions? I don’t believe I’ve made one in 15 years. I never stuck with them anyway. I’d like to make a few this year, and this made me wonder what America’s top 10 resolutions are. Here are the top ones I found:

1) Spend more time with family and friends
2) Exercise
3) Lose weight
4) Quit smoking
5) Enjoy life more
6) Quit drinking
7) Get out of debt
8) Learn something new
9) Help others
10) Get organized

Any of these sound familiar? I need to add numbers 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, and 10 to my personal list. ~ Ugh~

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What are your resolutions? Do you want to work less and play more? That seems to be an extremely popular idea year-round, yet few manage to reach that goal. We get stuck in the day-to-day of life, and we forget (or deny) what is important to us.

I’ve been researching the Buddhist and Hindi faiths, as they are quite thought-provoking. Both cultures stress the tenet of living in the moment. You have likely heard this advice: yesterday is gone, and we aren’t promised a tomorrow, so we should live in the present. This is quite difficult to actually do because we’re always planlning the future and bringing up the past. Are we too fearful to even look at today?

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If I look at the here and now, I see problems. My real problems. I can’t ignore them and say, “In 17 months I’ll graduate from college and be making good money.”  I also tend to invite the past to sit on my shoulder and help me run things. Bad idea.

So, my 2013 New Year’s resolution will be one thing. Live in the moment – then I can change the grief and guilt of the past and work toward my goals for the future by how I behave today. I’m pretty sure if I live in the moment that numbers 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, and 10 above will take care of themselves.

Happy New Year!

 

2012 Blog of the Year

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What a nice surprise – to open my email to a Blog of the Year badge from my literary mentor and friend, Ron Pruitt. Please check out his book As the Crow Flies on Amazon.com. He is a fantastic storyteller. http://www.amazon.com/As-Crow-Flies-Ron-Pruitt/dp/142415586X/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1355872837&sr=1-3&keywords=ron+pruitt

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http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/2012/12/18/2012-blog-of-the-year-award/ Here is Ron’s recent blog post about this award that he received as well. The pass-it-on guidelines are posted there.

It’s always nice to be recognized by a reader, friend, and fellow writer.

 

I’d like to nominate some favorite blogs of my own. Here they are:

1) http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/

2) http://lessonsfromtheendofamarriage.com/

3) http://brudberg.wordpress.com/