Tag Archives: mood disorder

Bipolar Disorder, Be Patient, Dears


Ever feel like you have a Jekyl and Hyde thing going on? I did but didn’t notice it as a problem until years after it began, and then finding the correct meds and behavioral therapy was like pulling teeth.

I’ve finally found the “cocktail” that works for me. Guess how long it took? TEN YEARS! No kidding. I was first diagnosed with depression, then Major Depressive Disorder, then Bipolar, then back to depression with ADHD. Finally, my new doctor said she wanted to treat me for Bipolar 2. I began Abilify (generic) and have been smooth sailing from that point on. Thanks goodness for perserverence. I just KNEW something had to work at some point.

These days, I am happy (but not too much) LOL. I’m not thinking that suicide is the best answer for me as I did for many years. I’ve also got energy again! Blessed be! It’s been gone for so long. Feels good to want to “do” things again.

The Take Away from this blog post is this: NEVER ever give up on finding what might make you feel like yourself again. It’s trial and error. It’s changing doctors multiple times. It’s being patient enough to keep your head up and your courage up even more.

If you or a loved one might have the following symptoms, please see your doctor and start feeling better! ((hugs to you)). See the Mayo Clinic’s information on Bipolar Disorder here:


The “Highs” (mania). Symptoms of a manic episode may include –

  • Feelings of euphoria, abnormal excitement, or elevated mood

  • Talking very rapidly or excessively

  • Needing less sleep than normal, yet still having plenty of energy

  • Feeling agitated, irritable, hyper, anxious, or easily distracted

  • Engaging in risky behavior such as lavish spending, impulsive sexual encounters, or ill-advised business decisions

The “Lows” (depression). Symptoms of a depressive episode (bipolar depression) may include –

  • No interest in activities you once enjoyed

  • Loss of energy and feeling apathetic

  • Difficulty sleeping—either sleeping too much or not at all

  • Thoughts of suicide, if depression is severe enough

I Turn on a Dime ~

That’s what a new friend told me. My mood “turns on a dime.”

THAT’S great to hear from an objective bystander. She’s correct, of course, but I didn’t want to HEAR about it! I’m inside this body, and I’m aware of the hormonal/chemical shifts which occur.

Today, for the first time in about 12 weeks, I had a bout of severe depression. It’s not as bad as it’s been before. I cried twice – once so hard that I lost a contact lens (found it on my shirt).

I felt such an urgent need to be heard and to release my pain, that I took my iPhone and started the video. I cried and talked into the camera . . . watching myself as the emotions exploded and unfolded. Well, when the amazing bout was finished, I looked down at the phone/camera to see that I’d forgotten to push “record” when I began. So, I’d sobbed and spoken to NO ONE.

So, on top of feeling like hammered shit, I also had attempted video therapy to no avail. I was a dumbazz for not pushing the stupid red button.

Gawd. I can be so pathetic.

Feeling about 60% better now. I only want to overeat and not die.

Chow, my cyber friends.