Tag Archives: misunderstandings

Even Great New Relationships Can Be a Challenge


I’m 51 years old and in a new relationship. Joe is 59 and a retired Air Force Sargent. He’s funny, handsome, kind, generous, faithful, affectionate, and active. He’s just what I’ve been looking for these last 7 years of being single. Lord knows I’ve had my share of dysfunctional or loser relationships on the road to where I now find myself. Lived and learned!

Joe and I found each other on a dating site for over-50 singles. We hit it off immediately and spent every day together for the first three months. We definitely have different ways of communication, though. For 90% of the time, we’re laughing and on the same page. The other 10% of the time, we’re like aliens from two different planets who don’t even understand the other’s facial expressions – much less his or her words or intentions. I’ve allowed his words to hurt my feelings and to anger me several times. He doesn’t usually mean to hurt me, though. It’s frustrating. I realize we love each other very much but it’s scary when we don’t know that we’ve even hurt the other person. It’s usually (always) me who is hurt. That must mean something.

I’m having to learn to act like an adult. In my long marriage, I was spoiled and “taken care of.” Mike and I had 25 years of passionless days – yet no arguments either. Kind of a gray zone all of the time. Not an ideal existence.

My second significant relationship was with a big and brawny  mechanic. The passion was intense and much needed. Yet, Steve had no education and was barely literate. We had NOTHING to talk about. It was like living with a rock. Sad but true. He also had an awful temper and liked to live off of my money. NOT cool. He’s history.

So, now that I’ve found Sargent Joe, I see what a healthy relationship can be like. I have to learn how to best communicate with him, though. We’re great together – until we’re not. When we’re “off,” we’re REALLY off. Guess any couple has to work at making things go smoothly.

I’m happier than I’ve been in decades, though. I wake up happy every day and go to bed the same way. I’m blessed. Now to just work on this “talking” stuff. 😉