From late 2007, when my world changed 180 degrees, until a little under a year ago, I was like a hurdling meteor with an eye on a permanent place to land. However, instead of a hard-hitting, one-time crash, I’ve been flying through differing degrees of layers before making a comfortable orbit. It’s a much nicer way to find my new normal.
Feels like I’ve jammed about twenty years of living into the last five, and I’m exhausted. However, I’ve come away more “myself” than I’ve ever been before. There’s something to be said about being authentic; there’s less stress and more joy.
Through an extreme high and several extreme lows, I’ve come to a place of comfort. The only medicine I’m now on is a mild blood pressure med. No more antidepressants, mood stabilizers, cigarettes (gross!), alcohol (almost had a problem there), extreme shopping, or any other indulgence people try. I’m free from it all and proud of it.
I have one last hurdle, though. It’s the hardest addiction to break for me. I am unhealthily fat. I need to lose a significant amount of weight to feel good again. This is proving to give me the toughest battle. I’m surprised. I never had any weight issues until I had children, and then any weight-gains were minor. Not so now. It’s hard giving up this last and most adamant obsession.
I’m still very happy with what I’ve done with life so far. I’ve overcome some immense obstacles. So, I feel a bit spoiled in whining about this last one, but my head of steam is evaporating!
Joined Weight Watchers online. Weigh in each Sunday. Hoping for a last push of energy from this body and brain – to reach that goal of health. C’mon . . . cheer me on!
XO to all of you!