“Kids, I’m Divorcing Your Uncle.”

I am beginning to see reasons why Americans are sometimes on the looney side. Life after divorce is weird. Divorce rate still hovers at 50%. I was in the 33% of people in our country who actually made it to her 25th anniversary (barely).

 

Family dynamics in 2012 are not what they were when Ward and June Cleaver raised the Beaver and Wally. When I think about it, though, I like that we’re more honest now. If we aren’t happy, we try to address that. Instead of living an unfulfilled life of drudgery or extramarital affairs, we aren’t ostracized for suggesting marital counseling, separation, or divorce.

That said, I do think our neighbors (and half of us, it seems) marry prematurely.  I know half a dozen people who knew their spouses less than 6 months before marrying.

Hmph, I’m one to give advice, right? I DID make it 25 years, though. Honestly, I think the issues for those of us who are married a while is that we change. Our personalities, desires, likes and dislikes change over time. What was very important might not be so after a decade or two. Y’know?

Back to the looney Americans – I miss my “in-laws.” Ha! Seriously, I miss being in the circle of their news, laughs, and even sorrows. I guess we have to give up things when divorce happens. It doesn’t  just affect the two marriage partners, which is sucky because it’s their business and not cousin Drucilla’s anyway.

Mmm . . . I hold no bitterness.

I write this blog post because I’m frustrated that my “family” for a quarter of a century no longer wants me in their lives (yes, I was the one who left the marriage, but believe me, it takes two to tango).  It hits hard  tonight because my (then) niece had her first baby today. Her wedding was a few months ago. I wasn’t “in the circle” of that, either. I want to say I understand, but I don’t.

Sleep well, readers. Love those who love you back (and some who don’t).

<And thank you my new subscribers. Seems I’ve got some regular eyes out there.>

 

 

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One thought on ““Kids, I’m Divorcing Your Uncle.”

  1. I’d never really thought about divorce from this point of view before, but you make an interesting point. After decades of being included in the in-law’s family holidays, confidences, and social situations, you’ve all of a sudden become persona non grata. My daughter is currently divorcing a husband who has a huge extended family. For years now she’s been expected to attend all the family functions to the point of leaving her own family alone for the holidays. Now, she isn’t welcome any more. This is too much on top of everything else that goes on in a divorce and just one more thing to bear. In addition, she’s expected to make her children available for all of these occasions even though she herself isn’t welcome.

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