When did too much adipose cause us to lose our feminine shape and our healthy bodies? In the 1950s there were many, many fewer overweight women than in 2012.
I want my lean body back. I’ve lived with the rolls, the jiggles, and children’s giggles. I’m tired of the looks, reading self-help books, and hiding in nooks – well, large nooks.
Here I sit brooding ’cause I did too much chewing! I have bad moods ’cause my belly protrudes . . . past my boobs.
This body needs to move, so my mom will approve. I’m an embarrassment.
I don’t like being fat, overweight like my cat, who lives like that? So, I get on a prayer mat with a cocked hat (gotta look cool) and plead.
I long to feel whole, not playing a role. I’m not an actress. I’m setting a goal. I’m now on a roll . . . for now. I’ll need food patrol to slap that eggroll outta my hand.
Wire my mouth shut to shrink my butt? No thanks. I’d only drink chocolate shakes.
Walk the dog, the stinking mutt. I can’t, I have a cat.
I’ll take laps in the pool and tan . That sounds like a plan!
If I can’t lose, I’ll surely move to Istanbul. Attend culinary school!
Bathe in a wading pool. Who cares?!