I’ve traveled back to Northwest Arkansas to see my psychiatrist (she is a genius). My meds are not working, and I’m a raving mess.
Physically, I have pains from the depression. The depth of my misery shocks me. That’s a perfect word for my situation at present, misery.
I’ve been popping Xanax so I can relax and not sob my head off or mke rash decisions. I’m ready to pick up TODAY and relocate back to Arkansas from Dallas. No more thought to it than that. I wonder if this is what mania and depression at the same time feels like. It’s a confusing and awful place to be.
I tried twice to push Jerry away from me in the last two days. I was mean to him and acted selfish, foolish, and bitchy. Still, he returned and told me he was NOT going to be run off. I don’t know if he is a saint or an idiot.
I think I’ll take a nap. I’m in my favorite town (Fayetteville) but have no transpsortation. No TJ MAXX for me. No Arsagas coffee. No flea markets.
I still love you, my readers and friends. Keep writing to me. We’ll get through life’s ups and downs together, loves.