Life is Bittersweet

 

Bittersweet: Webster’s Dictionary (Adjective) Sweet and then bitter or bitter and then sweet. Pleasant but painful.

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Childhood memories, what are mine?

Snack Pack chocolate pudding (in a metal can)

Play-Doh, coloring books, and the largest box of Crayola Crayons (with a built-in sharpener)

My light brown hampster. Accidentally killing my light brown hampster

Hot french fries from Dairy Queen, dipped (cooled) in an icy Coke

Riding my tricycle in the rain and singing

Birthday parties

Roller skates that fit over my shoes and learning to skate (on a badly cracked sidewalk)

Halloween and parties my mom threw for my friends from school ~ I was a gypsy

Kibby, my outdoor cat

Eating warm figs from the fig tree in our back yard

Swinging high on my swingset while Daddy mowed the yard nearby

Slip n Slide

Barbie car, camper, airplane, house . . .

Chrissy doll with growing (and shrinking) ponytail

Hating to read – then loving to read

Hating P.E (still do)

Lying on the green grass in summer and looking up at the blue sky – what were my thoughts back then? Did I know how to worry yet? I think not. I lived in the moment, as children do, waiting for the next big grasshopper to jump by and steal my attention.

The different stages of life are amazing.

I am very melancholy. I don’t like that about myself, but there it is. I see that the best parts of my life are over (in my opinion), so it’s difficult to NOT look back and feel mournful.

But, onward and upward, right? I’ll take this road, this sidewalk, however narrow or wide. I’ll hit a few bumps, perhaps lose my way, sometimes hit a wall. Still, I continue forward.

 

 

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10 thoughts on “Life is Bittersweet

  1. I wish you wouldn’t feel that the best things in life are already behind you. This illness is tough but it still leaves us moments of sweetness. There’s a book called “A First Rate Madness” that describes one of the positive propertes of bipolar disorder as the resilience we have to keep getting up from the bad times. Sometimes it’s that resilience that makes for a brilliant leader in times of crisis.

  2. I’m sorry you feel the best days are behind you. Even with this illness we are still granted days of sweetness and peace to savor. I hope your melancholy passes soon. PS – I remember those pudding snack cans, too!

  3. I totally understand where you coming from! Everything was so much more simpler then. The millennium brought more complex and complicated issues to today’s society. Something have been made easier, some have been made harder.
    Finding a job is a real PITA. I’m not having much luck myself. But I have other issues that I need to over come, so I just keep soldiering on. That’s the only thing you can do. Keep your chin up, cop an attitude, don’t take no for an answer and don’t give up! Better days are coming.

  4. It’s a bad time of year for depressives unfortunately. But never say “I am melancholy.” Say “It is melancholy,” or “melancholy seems to have taken over today.” But don’t identify it with you. It isn’t who you are, though you feel like it defines you much of the time. But just treat it like a rude party crasher that won’t stay long if you don’t “feed” it by giving it credence and possession of your soul. Get on Youtube and key in “Uninvited” by Alanis Morrisette. The lyrics tell of an uninvited guest that’s intriguing but not healthy to have around. That says it all. Music is strangely helpful. I have an entire collection just for every phase of my depression. Good luck.

    1. Raine, what a wonderful idea. Remove myself from “it.” Thank you, my friend. I haven’t heard the song Uninvited in a long time. I will download it to my phone. Please feel free to send other helpful music selections. XO

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