Creeping, Sneaking

Stuff it. Hide it. Ignore it. Deny it. Hold it off. Push it away.

Like an ostrich or a child’s game – it’s not there if you pretend it isn’t.

Til one day you aren’t paying attention, and it creeps into your consciousness. Damn! Once it’s in the present, pushing it back takes time and effort and tears.

You can try to eat it away. Spinach dip, fritoes, M & Ms, salad, diet soda, meatballs – nothing really works. You’re only too-full AND still depressed, sad, alone in the world.

Depression is a bitch. She sneaks into unused spaces in your head and waits, poised, ready to strike when least expected.

Take a Tums, watch a couple of sitcoms. Nope.

Waste time on ebay, a vintage necklace is nice. No.

No energy. No drive. Worthless. Hopeless. Angry that it’s back. But, it isn’t as severe this time. Won’t last.

Didn’t last. Thank god. No more looking at old photos, letters, and greeting cards from dear loved ones. You knew better. Thought you could push the envelope and sort through an old box. Good try. Next time, don’t let there be a next time.

 

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