Happiness and Sadness are Closely Related

Webster says Melancholy means – suggestive or expressive of sadness or depression of mind or spirit .
I’ve noticed that the times my depression sets in is often just after a bout of melancholia – often caused by looking at old photos of my kids and family from decades back. Such wonderful memories now make my chest heavy and drain my energy.
Don’t ask me why I feel this way, please. I have no idea why. It just is what it is. It’s a time of sadness, unhappiness, and heartsickness.
I’m at my daughter’s home this week. She had her first baby and wanted “Mama” to stay with her and her husband. They are attentive, loving, intelligent young parents. I’m very proud of them both. My grandson is in GREAT hands. This is a time of joy, exhiliration, and intoxication with that sweet  baby.
This change in focus from my loss of MY babies to the beginnings of my children’s own lives and their new children, has caused me to feel differently about how I was viewing the world and how my own faith/spirituality has changed. Everything might just be okay after all.
I start my last year of school this month. I’m SO looking forward to it! I have a new grandbaby and another due in February. I have a man who thinks I hung the moon, but doesn’t expect me to MARRY him. I’m an independant woman with good health and good friends. How great is that?! Of course, I’ll have to stay on top of my antidepressant meds ( I have Major Depressive Disorder), but that’s fine.
I’ve heard from several readers of this blog who have shared intimate details about their  divorces, depression, thoughts of suicide, zero self-esteem, etc – but somehow we band together and email one another and offer support and love. I hope you are finding support and love, as well. Feel free to write to me here. I will either post your comments or not. It is always your decision.
I’ve had some melancholia this week. Out with the old, and in with the new. As it should be, really. This grandma (called Mimi) has to get her life in gear and make some new friends in Dallas and finish her mortuary science education. There are needy, grieving people out there who will need an empathetic and kind funeral director/embalmer.
Hopefully, that’ll be me.
Love you guys!! Give me some comments!! XO

2 thoughts on “Happiness and Sadness are Closely Related

  1. It is so wonderful to read your description of the blessings in your life immediately after reading of your troubles, melancholy, and the feeling of weight in your chest. It is great wisdom you show the rest of us of feeling that balance point. Life is never what we thunk it would be!

  2. Shiva, I never saw your comment here. Thank you for the compliment. I’ve been looking over past blog posts. I’ve come a long way in a fairly short period of time. I’m very thankful for that, as well. XO

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