I exist in this body as a game of pinball. Pull back the spring and let the hammer go. The heavy, silvery ball flies into banded, stationary targets. Back and forth between them – fueled by rubbery bands, the ball bounces and rolls. Ding, ding, ding . . . the sounds, blinking lights, and music try to distract me from my goal of guarding “the scoring hole” with not-long-enough paddles.
This is how my brain works at present (perimenopause). Hormones fuel my emotions and cause a mixture of lights and noises which distract my brain from its basic purposes. Examples follow: sense of balance, memory, up and down emotions, and learning new things. Last night, I took a tumble onto the pavement because I absent-mindedly fell off of a seven inch step (which has always been there and which I had been aware of for two years). My hip is bruised, as well as the back of one arm. Go figure. I feel like a toddler again.
I forget facts, appointments, and my Walmart list. I went to the store to pick up a prescription. While I was there, I needed shampoo and conditioner and Drano. I left the list of these four items in my vehicle, so I had to remember four things. Well, I recalled three. I completely forgot my prescription, the reason I was there in the first place!
There goes the wild pinball. It is diverted and sent hurling into yet another diversion. Ding, ding! I change my mind more often than Tyra Banks changes outfits.
Before I forget, I need to get my Jeep brake pads and roters replaced. I also need to purchase a college history book. It is likely that I’ll buy the brake pads and forget the roters. It’s also likely that I’ll make three trips for these three items. Ugh . . .