I Turn on a Dime ~

That’s what a new friend told me. My mood “turns on a dime.”

THAT’S great to hear from an objective bystander. She’s correct, of course, but I didn’t want to HEAR about it! I’m inside this body, and I’m aware of the hormonal/chemical shifts which occur.

Today, for the first time in about 12 weeks, I had a bout of severe depression. It’s not as bad as it’s been before. I cried twice – once so hard that I lost a contact lens (found it on my shirt).

I felt such an urgent need to be heard and to release my pain, that I took my iPhone and started the video. I cried and talked into the camera . . . watching myself as the emotions exploded and unfolded. Well, when the amazing bout was finished, I looked down at the phone/camera to see that I’d forgotten to push “record” when I began. So, I’d sobbed and spoken to NO ONE.

So, on top of feeling like hammered shit, I also had attempted video therapy to no avail. I was a dumbazz for not pushing the stupid red button.

Gawd. I can be so pathetic.

Feeling about 60% better now. I only want to overeat and not die.

Chow, my cyber friends.

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